Last post, I tried to show how my thoughts on fairytales meant something, perhaps to avoid the fairytale pitfall of being pointless. I tried to connect the fairytale summaries to my conviction that babble isn’t art. I’m not sure how well it worked out, but I decided that this blog is my galaxy. It doesn’t need a point. So here are summaries of more fairytales (I’ve been looking for one to possibly adapt) and why they amuse, infuriate, or bore me. No point needed. Unless you’re a pencil, you don’t need a point. All pencils reading this blog report to the pencil unemployment office, since you obviously need something to do. It’s downright unnatural for pencils to waste their time reading blogs. Pencils, rise up and leave marks on paper. Remember you come from a proud race of hardworking sticks. I’m kidding of course. In reality, ANYONE reading this blog needs a point. I command it. I, myself, however, do not need a point. Not today.
I read a fairytale called Godfather Death. In it, a man has just one more baby in a long line of babies, and he can’t feed it. Poor guy. It happens, I suppose, but I still don't recommend what he did next. He’s so desperate he goes to the street to ask someone to be the child’s godfather. First God comes and offers to take good care of the baby. The man says, “Who are you?” God replies, “I am God.” The man says, “Oh, then I don’t want you to be godfather to my child.” I couldn’t help but giggle at this whole scene. Who would be stupid enough not to let God be godfather to their baby? Well, I guess this guy isn’t that bright to begin with, asking people on the street to be godfather and then believing it when someone tells them they’re God and then not letting God take care of their kid. The man says “no” because, he says, God gives to the rich but not to the poor. God leaves. The Devil comes. He offers to take care of the child. The man says no because the Devil deceives people. At least, he was smart enough to send the devil away. Then Death comes and offers to take care of the child. The man says “yes” because Death treats everyone the same, killing them all...Good grief, man. Do you realize what you’re doing? You’re trying to save the baby from starvation and, ultimately, death, and now you just give him to Death? Well, Death turns out to be an alright godfather for a while. He teaches the boy to be a physician, giving him a root that will cure anything. He instructs the boy, however, not to save anyone whom Death has decided to take. In the end, the physician does just that, twice. Death gets angry and kills the Physician. The end. I guess the moral of that is to cure anyone who’s sick except the ones death wants to kill...Really doesn't make much sense.
I did, however, find a fairytale with a moral by Hans Christian Anderson, who also wrote The Little Mermaid, which also has a moral. I’ve been reading the pointless fairytales collected by the Grimm brothers. I’m pretty sure they lived before Anderson, so maybe Anderson put clearer messages in his tales because that was more standard in his time?
The Anderson tale The Snow Queen was in development at Disney as a hand drawn animation fairytale. The project, sadly, has been put on hold. It might never be made. The story, however, goes like this. A boy named Kay gets magical glass shards stuck in his eye and heart. Because of this, his heart freezes and he sees everything in a distorted way. He gets kidnapped by the Snow Queen. He obviously has bad luck. His best friend, Gerda (Defender of Best Friends with Bad Luck, as I'm calling her now), goes after him. A raven tells her about a prince who might be Kay, so she sneaks into the palace. Finding it’s not Kay, she cries. The prince and princess give her a carriage to continue her search. She cries. She gets kidnapped by robbers and befriends a girl robber who gives her a reindeer. This reindeer says he can take Gerda to the home of the Snow Queen, who took Kay, as Gerda learned from the doves. The girl gives Gerda some warm clothes and tells her she looks just like her ugly mother. Gerda cries for joy (probably at the kindness she was receiving not at the fact she resembled a robber’s ugly mother). Actually, this part of the story is pretty funny.
The robber maiden lifted up little Gerda, and took the precaution to bind her fast on the Reindeer's back; she even gave her a small cushion to sit on. "Here are your worsted leggins, for it will be cold; but the muff I shall keep for myself, for it is so very pretty. But I do not wish you to be cold. Here is a pair of lined gloves of my mother's; they just reach up to your elbow. On with them! Now you look about the hands just like my ugly old mother!"
And Gerda wept for joy.
"I can't bear to see you fretting," said the little robber maiden. "This is just the time when you ought to look pleased . . . “
The majority of the story is dead serious, making its humor all the more unexpected and amusing. I see why Disney would want to adapt this fairytale. It comes with built-in modern elements, modern humor, modern epiphany moments, modern (ish) lessons, and modern character types (Gerda’s like an anime girl who always cries, Kay’s feels and acts superior, the robber girl expresses love in twisted, evil ways – as the story itself obviously knows – ways like scaring her reindeer with knives). It also has a non-medieval setup: the GIRL rescues the BOY. (I wish this was the case with more stories today.) The story also has loads of creative elements and settings, like beds in the shape of lilies hanging from the ceiling. Also, Gerda has some serious superpowers. She can talk to animals (although, everyone in this story can). Her breath turns into angels who destroy the Snow Queen’s living-snowflake minions. Her tears are so hot they melt Kay’s heart and destroy the glass shard there, WITHOUT burning Kay. And, apparently, she can get people to do anything she wants. That is an excessive amount of powers, actually, but they’re all really cool. You may have guessed how she saves Kay. His heart melts, then he cries the glass shard out of his eye, and they live happily ever after. The moral was something about being children at heart to enter the kingdom of Heaven, which is a good moral, but I admittedly didn’t understand it or how it got to that point. Can anyone enlighten me?
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