A friendly note from your local Idiot Providers,
We're so happy you've decided to join us here in the World! We at Idiot Providers offer a solid guarantee and lifetime warrantee that wherever you travel you will be met with a fine assortment of Idiots. No matter the group, age group, country, religion, school, fanbase, hatebase, internet provider, site, forum, clique, social network, career, workplace, marketplace, rainforest, convention, rainforest convention, retreat, public restroom, political party, or Shampoo Lovers Association, we promise you our Idiots will astound and overwhelm you. If you are ever underwhelmed by our Idiots, we offer a full refund, including your money back for Shipping and Handling.
This brings us to the best part of our worldwide services: we provide Idiots FREE! That's right, FREE! We said it, FREE! You heard us, FREE! Don't doubt it, FREE! Absolutely FREE! Nothing as FREE! Idiots are FREE! The best things in life are FREE!
What prompts us to this charity, you might ask? Can you trust us? Can you know our merchandise isn't faulty or bought off the black market with drug money? Of course you can. Idiot Providers is a trusted altruistic organization. Our only concern is providing you with a steady supply of Idiots, freeing you to forego your sanity at the sheer stupidity surrounding you and live a life of increasing isolation, frustration, and bitterness at being cursed with the only brain on the planet.
No need to thank us.
We love you too,
Your friendly neighborhood Idiot Provider
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