Review of Skulduggery Pleasant Death Bringer

Sorry, should have done this sooner, but big spoilers in blue.

I finally got the book and a break from school in which to read it, Skulduggery Pleasant Death Bringer by Derek Landy. I'm depressed and disappointed in it. Basically, I didn't like any of the characters and I downright hated Valkyrie Cain.

In previous books, Valkyrie was tolerable but nothing special, character-wise. In this book, she's thoroughly dislikable. Mainly and most importantly, she cheats on her boyfriend. First of all, this comes out of nowhere, since, in the last book, she walked away from they guy she was cheating with in this book. He and she kissed in the last book, but I was willing to forgive her for that because it was mostly his fault and she stopped it and she walked away from him. Twice.

I'd call a one-time kiss-cheat a mistake, sure. However, in this book, she's a willing chronic cheater. In this book, Skulduggery calls her behavior a mistake. When you cheat repeatedly, it's not a "mistake." It's a habit. It's a way of life. It's your personality. It's who you are.

Maybe I'm the only person in the world who feels this way, but in the list of Worst Possible Things You Can Do To a Person, I place cheating in the Top Ten. I put it up there along with torture, because from what I've heard -- and I've always thought so anyway -- the worst part of torture is the emotional destruction that remains long, long after the physical. Well, being cheated on can destroy a person emotionally too.

Yet here Skulduggery was saying he wasn't mad at Val and her cheating was a "mistake." That makes it sound so much more innocent than it is. The whole book made it sound more innocent that it is. A common argument in situations like this is that the book is just being true to the characters. The character of Edward is just obsessive and controlling, and the character of Bella is just submissive and fawning. Here, Val is just unfaithful and Skul is just permissive. That may be true, but first of all, it wouldn't make me like the characters any better, and secondly, the book can still send the message that its characters are wrong. But it doesn't. Death Bringer doesn't. Not really. Not enough.

Val hardly gets any flack for cheating on her boyfriend. She may call herself a bad person when chatting light-heartedly to her baby sister, but it's not enough just to point it out. Words without followthrough are dead. If she really thought she was a bad person, she'd do something about it. She'd at least FEEL something about it. But Val wasn't exactly racked with guilt over cheating on her boyfriend. She was heartless. She hardly thought about it. She feels bad for Fletcher once or twice for the look he had on his face when she broke up with him, but she never felt real shame or guilt for cheating on him. She never felt that bad about herself.

In fact, by the end of the book, she's saying how she doesn't need a boyfriend to tell her how awesome she is, because she already KNOWS it. And if anything, that's the moral the book leaves you with. Not that you shouldn't cheat (although maybe that you shouldn't cheat with VAMPIRES), not that it's despicable and wrong (Skulduggery just points out Fletcher was just always destined to be Val's ex). The book left you with the moral that you don't need someone else to tell you you're amazing.

I'm all for loving yourself regardless of little embarrasments or sinless flubs, but not regardless of ruining the lives of people around you. If you do THAT and still think you're awesome? You're disgusting. If you ask me, Val definitely doesn't need someone to tell her how awesome she is. She needs someone to tell her what a creep she is. Repeatedly. Until she GETS it. (If that's possible. Most creeps like her don't ever get that they're creeps.)

She even gets on Fletcher's case for joking about cheating on her. What a hypocrite. And as I said, Skulduggery does nothing about it but call the cheating a mistake and feed Val's ego over the course of the book. China excuses Val's cheating on the oh-so-solid grounds of natural teenage lust for excitement and sex. Ghastly meekly and and briefly mentions it. And no one else says anything about it to Val. Except Fletcher, at about the middle of the book, when they break up.

At this point, I'd gone through half the book with my hate for Val steadily growing along with my despair. The book was painting cheaters in a lenient light to say the least. It kept saying how Val was so freaking beautiful, powerful, skillful, and smart and no one could say anything to her about the wrongs she'd done. She was seeming more and more like a spoiled Mary Sue who could get away with anything she wanted with hardly a slap on the wrist. And then hope reared its deceptive head when Fletcher finally said all this out loud in-story. Finally, someone says it...

But then Fletcher was painted as an angry, jealous boyfriend, and THEN he said he wanted her to take him back, and THEN even he was making excuses for her, saying she wasn't trying to be mean or anything. Good golly, it was disappointing.

She didn't even apologize. Three pages from the end, she said something RESEMBLING an apology, but by then, it was way too little to late. I hadn't even felt sorry for her when Melancholia cut her up. In fact, through most of the book, I found myself rooting against her. I found it preferrable that she would die than that she would continue on to all these romantic teases obviously opening up to her, all these boys she'd probably treat just as badly, all this romantic happiness up for grabs to this cheater. Thing-resembling-an-apology or no, by the last page, I still hated her.

Aside from the cheating, I couldn't sympathize with Valkyrie anyway because Valkyrie never needed sympathizing. I'd hoped this book would show that losing Kenspeckle and other friends had really gotten to Val. But she thought of Kenspeckle only once and Tanith maybe twice in the whole book. Melancholia attacks Valkyrie to hurt her emotionally, but Valkyrie herself admits she feels no emotional pain whatsoever over the experience. Basically, nothing affects Valkyrie to an appreciable extent, and it's very boring.

As for Skulduggery, is it me or did it seem like he didn't do anything in this book? It probably is just me, but most of the time, he just sort of faded into the background. Sure, he helped save the world, but aside from his disappointingly mild reactions to everything Val did, he didn't do anything surprising as a character. It was supposed to be surprising that he was Lord Vile, but I just felt like I already knew that. Well, not THAT specifically, but that he had been a horrible, senseless killer in the war. It was hinted at. I just thought he was on the good guy's side while he was a murderer.

Anyway, in this book, there was not even one instance of surprising kindness on Skul's part, and that surprising kindness was what made me like him the first book, what I liked most about the fifth book. In this book, he didn't even make me laugh. He was so gray. (GRAY, you understand. Those who skim may have read it as something else. Just saying.) I didn't care much what he did, even in the parts that hinted at a Skul/Val pairing, and there were quite a few, with Skul seeing the reflection naked, buying Val a skimpy dress, and just being what everyone said Val needed -- someone who matched her.

First, I didn't even want Val to get Skulduggery after how despicable she was in this book, and second, I didn't really care about Skul's happiness in this book. I didn't care about him or if he ever fell in love again or whatever.

Also, maybe, it's just that I've changed, but Skul and Val actually seemed mean this time around. They picked on each other, and more importantly, they picked on people around them who were perhaps weaker, less confident. Fletcher's the perfect example. They laughed at his expense the entire book, even after the cheating and the break up, right down to the last showdown between Darquesse and Lord Vile.

Furthermore, Skul and Val may get beat up physically but ALWAYS seem to be on top psychologically. They are always smiling, confident, strong, and laughing their heads off, and they're enemies are always angry, scared, hurt, and pathetic. This arrangement is not only boring, but Skul and Val are unrelatable and look like arrogant bullies because of it.

It was extremely refreshing for them to finally experience some psychological turbulence when Tenebrae spilled Skulduggery's secret about being Vile. Something finally got to Val. It didn't last long though. A couple chapters and Val had forgiven Skul, as she should have, but any normal person would still have felt twisted up about it. Val just got over it.

The rest of the characters are hardly worth noting. The only ones who made me laugh were Finbar, Clarabelle, and Scapegrace (whose abuse of Thrasher still got very tiresome). And I hated China just as much as ever. Six books have done nothing to endear her to me.

Plot-wise, it was very intricate and plotsy. Characters coming from every angle with every sort of agenda. Battles were fought, secrets revealed, and it all should have been very exciting, but I was very distracted by the Valkyrie problem. I was flatout TIRED of reading about her, and I didn't care about Skulduggery anymore. Without characters I cared about, the intense plot was wasted on me. I just couldn't enjoy it. Besides, it seemed like a lot of scenes didn't contribute anything to the plot, most of the scenes at the ball for instance. They just stood around talking about the war that happened hundreds of years ago to characters we've never met.

And another thing. Again, maybe it was just me, but this book seemed awfully preachy and the messages awfully depressing. It seemed like characters stopped several times to just stand there and repeat things they'd already said. One message was something about who people really are or aren't, or maybe it was about mood swings. I didn't really get it. One message was how Val and Skul didn't need anyone else to tell them how great they were. Another message was what seems to be a common modern message about teenage dating, which is that "It's bad to be obesessive, so it's good to be dismissive."

This message came through in the way Caelan got much more abuse for being obsessive than Val got for being unfaithful; it came through in the way China condoned Val's behavior because "no one your age" is looking for love; it came through in the way Skulduggery told Val she should be dating boys as a HOBBY; and it came through in many other ways.

Look, I agree it's stupid for teenagers to obsess over love, to fall in love overnight (or over one kiss or date or sight or whatever), and to decide immediately that they've found their one true, destined love, without taking the years it takes to really get to know someone. At the same time, I think it's horribly cruel to date someone just for fun when you don't really care about them or plan to take the years it takes to get to know them or at least consider the POSSIBILITY that they might be your true love.

If you know beyond a doubt that they're NOT the one for you? You. Shouldn't. Be. Dating. Them. You shouldn't be stringing them along. It's just mean and wrong. I'm sure sometimes it happens. You start dating someone, find yourself not in love, and keep dating them without realizing what you're doing. But once you do realize, you should stop immediately.

But Death Bringer almost seemed to encourage dating someone when you're fully conscious of the fact that the relationship won't go anywhere. It seems to encourage dating someone just for the experience. It doesn't seem to take into account that that sort of behavior broke Fletcher's heart. It seems to say that that was destined to happen, so it was alright. I think there's a happy middle ground where you don't rush into a relationship or jump to the conclusion that you're in love, but you also respect each other and consider each other precious while you work at SEEING if you're really in love. You don't date someone knowing from the start that you're not in love.

Also, just about Caelan, he was nothing like he was in either of the previous books. Even after the kiss, in Mortal Coil, he wasn't speaking all in cliches, and before the kiss, he was perfectly sane as long as he was human. This time, he was completely mad. The book was so insistent on making a point about the Edward-Bella sort of relationship that it did a 180 on Caelan's character and even mentioned Edward and Bella by name. Very subtle. . . That was sarcasm.

I don't want to sound mean. I really don't, since the author seems like such a nice guy and I've been a fan of all the previous books, but I have to be honest about this one. I didn't like it. And it doesn't make books to come appear very appetizing. And to be perfectly honest, the books have become the sort of books I read only because they're readable, not because they're great. I won't be buying the next books over Amazon. I'll just wait until they're cheap and easy to access. Truthfully, I want to see if they get better, but I can wait to find out if they do, I can wait to read more about Skulduggery, and I can wait a long, long time to read more about Valkyrie.

5/10

Skulduggery Pleasant Released as ebook for the US!

First of all, I have to mention that Derek Landy is finally re-releasing the Skulduggery Pleasant books in the US! Not that it was his fault that it took so long or anything. He's said that the boring covers on the American versions of the books probably didn't help sales, and I think he's right. I don't believe in judging people by their covers, but that doesn't keep me from judging books by their covers (and titles), and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Released as ebooks this time though, the Skulduggery Pleasant books have awesome covers again, covers I'm sure no one could overlook. I don't get comments from Americans, but my stats tell me I get more American readers than readers from any other nation, and Skulduggery Pleasant Book 1 is one of the main searches people come to my blog by. That takes them to my reviews of the books, usually book 1. I hope at least some of those people coming to my Skulduggery review are Americans, and I hope this post helps spread the word about the American Skulduggery ebooks, because they're amazing! Go here http://bit.ly/qNJYCP. The first book's free for October! The others are awesome too! Read them! Love them! Nerd with me over them! Does that sound weird?

Anyway, I also want to say that I'm sorry I've posted so little, but that's probably not going to change anytime soon. At least, not until summer, and probably not even then if I get an internship. I'm guessing my followers are all pretty busy too, judging by how there was no avalanche of blog updates on my dashboard. Well, maybe a small avalanche, but quite manageable. That's good. We'll all just keep busy till we can get back together again like old times. =)

Also, just in general, school's going ok, but I feel like I don't really know the chemistry I should for my second exam on Tuesday. I need to study, but I have a ton of other stuff to do this weekend. I'm tired, and I want to say something. The last couple posts? I'm not proud of them. I mean, I'm not terribly ashamed of them, but usually, when I post something, I'm proud of it. Even if I said something completely embarassing and personal, I felt better for it. This wasn't the case for the last posts, and I think that might be because I don't feel I was completely honest. I like the attention from the boys who've given me attention, even if I do hate being cliche and and don't want my life to get any more complicated, which it will with these boys being all...them. But it's not as big a deal as I thought. I haven't done anything about my situation with my cafeteria freind, even though I'm quite sure now he likes me, just from the way he flirts with me all the time. But I really like him and talking to him, and he seems to get over people fast, as he was interested in my other friend just a few weeks ago. I'm not going to stop talking to him, and I'm sure he'll eventually just get over whatever he has for me. On the other hand, the 29-year-old guy who hit on me is still creeping me out, but he hasn't really done anything to creep me out. Not really. So I feel a bit mean for being creeped, but I can't really help it. He's, well, creepy. I've met a few other nice boys who seem to like talking to me, one (nearly lovable) clown who flirts with everyone, and one guy who saw the pink (formerly blue) streaks in my hair, walked right up to me, and said, "I'm James. I love your hair. We should hang out." It's all good I suppose. I worry less about it now.

I think the biggest theme of the past few days has been that I can't really do this. I can't pass my chemistry exam. I can't get all my other work done. I'm going on 2-3 hours of sleep most weekdays. Last week, I had to deal with a somewhat disturbing drama with a writing teacher who gave me an F, told me to come into her office, and then asked me if I was threatening her when I told her, "Other students are confused and upset, too. [About how low she's grading us.] I just thought you should know." She told me I was welcome to withdraw from the class, so I asked some office people about switching sections, and in the end, I took the administrator guy's advice to "reopen the door" with the teacher. I wrote an apology for making her feel threatened, read it aloud to her, she accepted it, and afterwards, I couldn't decide if I'd been mature or cowardly. Either way, it was upsetting and a tad humiliating. And my point is that I'm overwhelmed and can't do all I need to do to get by. Lately, I've been waking up in the morning and thinking, "It's too heavy for me." This whole burden. So I've been realizing that I have to let God carry it because I flat-out can't. I mentioned before that I realized I was never really in charge of how well I do in life anyway. God is. But that doesn't stop me from worrying and trying every day to carry this burden I can't. I know this sounds a bit unoriginal, but it's true. If God wants me to pass the chemistry exam, He'll help me do it. Otherwise...well, I just don't want to think about "otherwise." That's why I keep worrying about carrying the burden myself. But I can't, and now, I'm just trying to trust God and stop worrying.

Well, I'll post again when I can. Thanks for reading my posts, my faithful readers of posts. =)

Summer To-do and Summer Done

Continuing my Summer To-do List...

1. I published those Skulduggery reviews I promised, got a comment from Derek Landy himself (!!!!!), and got three new followers. Thanks, Kallista, Queen Nessie, and Legolas!

2. Find new series. I was literally about to give up on finding any books to love, when I found The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making. It's not a series. Yet. I hope it turns into one though. I look for books that make me care. I care about characters, so I look for books with phenomenal characters, but it seems whenever reviews praise a book for its characters, it's a dull book with bland characters. However, Neil Gaiman praised this book for its "heart," and I think maybe that's what I'm looking for. J. J. Abrams also described heart, as when he sees a movie and FEELS something. (He was speaking of his movie Super 8, and it did have some heart, but to be honest, it wasn't that great). When I started Girl Who, I thought it would be a quirky story with creative puns, settings, and concepts. It is, and that's enjoyable enough, but it also encompasses several original yet universal insights into the human condition, and its heroine, September, is likewise original yet relatable. And that's what made me really care. Not the cities of cloth or elaborate fairy feasts or intriguing plot points, but September and her friends and enemies and the insights they provide. I've read books that made me care MORE, it's true. Nonetheless, I had to go through at least a dozen books (half way) to find one book that made me care. In other words, it's pretty worth the read.

3. Read, read, read. Like I said, I was discouraged by all the boring books out there. Maybe I'm just picky, but I tried many popular books and wasn't interested.

4. Write 13 short stories. No good. I didn't get a single one written yet. We'll see how this month goes.

5. Finish any other stories. No good. We'll see, once again, how this month goes.

6. Watch, watch, watch. Was doing okay with this. I loved The King's Speech. But now the Wii isn't working and I haven't been to the rental store in a couple weeks.

7. Blog, blog, blog. I could be doing perhaps slightly better, but it's hard to top my performance during the last few weeks. =) I have a post on God and religion coming up. Just as a warning.

8. Stuff I SHOULD do. I did a bit of that last night in fact, but I should be doing more.

9. Try to meditate. Not so far.

10. Drink hot beverages. Not so far.

11. Do new stuff. Um, yeah. I guess. I did try loitering, but as I'm not familiar with it, I was properly baffled by those obstacles called "streets" and the guides known as "Walk/Don't Walk." You can probably guess I don't spend a lot of time in town. I actually tried to get a tan this year. Most years, I don't worry about it, because it leads to wrinkles and I like my skin pale just as much as I like my skin tan. But this year, I had a book to read outside (Girl Who Circumnavigated) and I thought it might be fun to get that glow I see on kids who spend every moment outside. On them, a tan looks like adventure. Let's see if I can fake it. Not the tan. The adventure.

(By the way, I used to add a Fact of the Day to every post, but I think, from now on, I just do that now and again.)

Review of Skulduggery Pleasant, Book 1

In the book Skulduggery Pleasant by Derek Landy, Stephanie Edgley faces major changes. When her uncle dies, and a scary killer man breaks into her mansion, and an undead skeleton mage named Skulduggery Pleasant rescues her, and a sorcerer with a scary name threatens to restore evil gods to the planet, what else is she to do but save the world? Well, stay home and live normal, I guess. But that's not what Stephanie does!

Major spoilers in this color. Because I like it better than red.

I've read few books that were better than Skulduggery Pleasant. The dialogue was hysterical. The plot was action-packed. And most of all -- Skulduggery Pleasant.

Skulduggery Pleasant!

I loved him. He was hilarious, charming, unusual, friendly, and the complete opposite of what I expected a horror story's skeletal protagonist to be. A delightful suprise, he wasn't sweet in the way I'm used to admiring, but he was amazingly nice. He was no snob. He treated Valkyrie as a friend and an equal. He didn’t look down on anyone as stupid or unworthy of his attention or conversation. He was a breath of fresh air because I'm tired of the Common Jerk Protagonist. In fact, Skulduggery acted very morally, usually. For instance, even when he'd only known Stephanie for hours, he cared about her, frantically urging her to run from danger when he was trapped and couldn’t help. I can picture so many characters doing so much less, either for want of a heart or for want of an author who cares to show their reaction. This author, however, siezed an opportunity to show Skulduggery's character. He didn't always have the upper hand, and when he didn't, he thought of Valkyrie first. He didn't want anyone -- even near-strangers -- to get hurt. Furthermore, although he saved her quite a bit, he never treated Stephanie like a millstone. And although the book's villain was Skulduggery's archenemy, Skulduggery didn't fight for ulterior motives. He didn't even pretend to. He fought against evil because it was evil and protected people because it was good. For example, Serpine had hurt Skulduggery in the worst possible ways, but Skulduggery didn’t kill him. That would be revenge. He put Serpine under ARREST. That’s what the good guys are supposed to do. Well, I mean he DID kill Serpine, to save Valkyrie, but who cares? He wasn’t going to if he didn’t have to. Overall, Skulduggery led the story as a likable, heroic main character, and it is supreme.

At the same time, Skulduggery wasn't a boring perfect character. He had weaknesses, failings, and flaws. Most are called out, which is more than can be said for the Common Jerk Protagonist. While cordial most of the book, Skul could get crabby when, for example, the Elders chastised him and didn't believe him about Serpine. Actually, Skulduggery is apparently quite unpopular with the magical community, which endears the bony outcast to me all the more. He's also not so scrupulous all the time. He stated he had trouble keeping friends because of his . . . misdeeds (although, just admitting it isn't good enough for me; I hope he actually changes somehow). Nevertheless, he stays friends with Valkyrie, and though he's her mentor, he's not an all-wise, all-powerful type like Professor Xavier who can inexplicably freeze all the humans in a museum. Skulduggery is much more interesting. He himself gets in trouble, has to be saved, and struggles to defeat the bad guys. They pose an actual threat to him even though he’s the veteran crime fighter and Valkyrie is the novice. That makes every obstacle a challenge and much more exciting. He's also NOT the wiser, smarter, more mature of the duo. He and Valkyrie are pretty much on equal footing, except when it comes to martial arts and magic. So he's a nice protagonist, an imperfect hero, a good skeleton, a happy detective, an only semi-wise and semi- powerful mentor, and a moral . . . vigilante? He seems all the more real for breaking all these stereotypes.

Sadly, in a couple parts, Skulduggery acted in ways that contrasted with his caring manner toward Stephanie and annoyed me because he wasn't called out on them. First, he described a partner he had who died on their first mission. "A messy death too,” he said, but not very remorsefully it seemed. This made me think he didn't care. Maybe he stays strong through his heartaches by acting light-hearted. Maybe it doesn't mean he didn't care about his other partner, but it still bugs me that he can talk about it like that. Secondly, later on, Valkyrie was captured by a monster, and Skulduggery was left to attack the villain, which he promptly took off to do. Does Skulduggery care about Stephanie or doesn’t he? One on hand, perhaps stoic Skulduggery was just sticking with the mission -- for the good of the world after all. On the other hand, you’d think he'd worry more about Valkyrie. Then again, maybe he knew she was alright. Who knows?

Stephanie (or Valkyrie Cain, as she comes to call herself) is merely likable. I and many other kids relate to the fact she wanted more than her dull, ordinary life. Other than that, she was nearly perfect and made few mistakes, which isn't relatable. She was mature, witty, independent, smart, and capable. She got herself out of as many scrapes as Skulduggery got her out of, and she got him out of a few. This is all great but not terribly interesting. Though refreshingly competent, Val had few surprising traits, no serious personal or psychological issues, and no vices to overcome. These would help to make her more human, more singular. Still, she was an adequate heroine, not grating like most main characters and the following.

China Sorrows is evil. She put a spell on Stephanie so she couldn’t help Skulduggery when he was captured, and by the second book, everyone seems to have forgotten. Plus, her character is kind of stiff and boring. I'm being totally mature and not holding a grudge about this, but it's the simple truth. She's evil. Just had to say it for it is pure wisdom . . . PLLLBBTT!!! Take THAT, China!

The author crafted a fantastic but rather frightening plot. Well, at least for a sensitive blogger like me. For the good of my nighttime thoughts, I skipped a couple chapters, chapters I will not go into, because I can't, because I skipped them. Regardless, from what I did read, the book was fast-paced and enthralling.

With its humor, action, and amazing characters, Skulduggery Pleasant is the one book you search through 50 to find. Thank goodness I helped you find it! Okay, I probably didn't have much to do with it, but just in case.

8/10

Review of SP Playing with Fire

In Skulduggery Pleasant Playing with Fire by Derek Landy, Stephanie Edgley is now Valkyrie Cain, descendent of the Ancients, apprentice in magic to Skulduggery Pleasant, and determined to save the world from another evil sorcerer with a scary name (Vengeous).

Coming second in the Skulduggery Pleasant series, Playing with Fire was much like the first book but even more action-packed and hilarious.

After the first scene, I expected Skulduggery would disappoint, as so many favorite characters do. He again seemed uncaring. He came to Valkyrie's rescue late because he had to tie his shoelace. Granted, he said he knew she could handle it, and she did, but it was unnerving. Maybe, though, it only showed that he was irresponsible, not uncaring. (Valkyrie would seem less foolish for trusting a sometimes-irresponsible person than for trusting an uncaring person.) However, Skul soon became as friendly and funny as in the first book. He acted superior to no one. Not even Vengeous, with whom Skul exchanged witticisms for threats. Besides producing some of the funniest lines in the book, Skulduggery showed he wasn’t mean, pathetic, or cliché enough to return insults and he wasn’t above talking with evil people like they were people.

I had one problem concerning Valkyrie. She fights crime almost daily, but I got the impression she runs on two hours of sleep a night. She’d pass out doing normal stuff on that much sleep. Maybe I'm wrong, though, or maybe she used magic to compensate for lack of sleep.

At the core, the plot was similar to the last one, but this isn't a book I’d read for novelty of plot. I read it for the side-splittingly hysterical dialogue and lovable characters. Everyone should. Read it, I mean.

8/10

Review of SP The Faceless Ones

In Skulduggery Pleasant The Faceless Ones by Derek Landy, Valkyrie Cain and Skulduggery Pleasant must solve multiple murders, protect the last of the teleporters, and prevent the return of the Faceless Ones...But just from the title, you can guess how that turns out.

Most series get worse with time, but Skulduggery Pleasant only gets better. The Faceless Ones was the best book so far, and you know how awesome the first two were. What made the book so amazing? The best of the characters shone through, the plot intensified to previously unparalleled levels, and the best, worst villains finally appeared.

In this book, I grew to love Kenspeckle He was very human, funny, and grumpy, but not cruel. Apparently, he's a something of a pacifist (like me), and he was a good friend to Valkyrie. I also loved Valkyrie’s parents. Like her, they were likable and funny, if not exactly fascinating. Tanith was fun, but she almost dies in every book. I was pleased Ghastly came back. I was afraid he might be one of those characters who stays "dead" as a symbol of heart-wrenching sacrifice, even though we never really knew him and don't particularly care he's dead. Now we have to chance to get to know him. I hope we learn more about Solomon Wreath in the next book. China had some part in Skulduggery’s troubles, which isn't surprising. Aside from her, it’s nice to have noble characters who are human and humane, without blatant cruelty or stupidity...usually (see second to last paragraph). Val and Skul don’t beat people up unless they have to, which they usually do, but if they can, they take the bad guys to jail. Yep, yep. Good stuff.


The bad guy, Batu, seemed suspect one moment and merely annoying the next, which makes it difficult to guess he’s the murderer. Skulduggery was the same as always: marvelous. Funny and friendly. Teleporter Fletcher Renn annoyed me, especially since he's hinted to be Valkyrie’s future love interest. Still, he's mostly okay.


Actually, I hoped the hints would amount to nothing. Val called him good-looking, but didn’t exactly swoon, so that could mean nothing. She helped him instead of helping Skulduggery up at the end, but that could also mean nothing, just a reason for Skulduggery to be funny. Nonetheless, I hear Val and Fletcher date in the next book. I guess, secretly, I feared what it might mean if the author put together a shallow match like Valkyrie and Fletcher, when he seems able to create deeper relationships. He could make another bad match, like *shudders* Skulduggery and China. If she and Skul got together, I’d..I'd...you know, I'd just...She’s AWFUL. She's uncaring and unheroic, and he’s kind and a total hero. Of course, that would be worst case scenario, but the Fletcherie pairing made me suspicious.

Actually, I was also quite saddened by that scene at the end since she did look to Fletcher first and minutes later the Faceless Ones pulled Skulduggery into their dimension. I was afraid that Fletcher would become more important to Valkyrie than Skulduggery, and she and Skulduggery would become less of a team. I felt bad for Skulduggery. He seems to have human feelings I can relate to, and if I were him, I’d make jokes about her helping Fletcher first but really I'd be sad and afraid I’d lost my best friend to someone she cared more about. But I guess Skulduggery does have more self-esteem than me and he’s used to being alone, so maybe he really wasn’t hurt. I felt like he would be, though, and just minutes later, he was pulled into another dimension full of evil gods.


Even without the Val and Fletcher incident, it was tragic enough we lost Skulduggery. I actually thought he might not come back. I was so happy to find he would. But how long would that take? Val might need another book to DECIDE to learn necromancy, another book to learn it, and another to rescue Skulduggery. Actually, that could improve the series even more because the storyline so far was "Save the World, Prevent the Faceless Ones from Returning." They did return and they were beaten. The books could have a whole new kind of storyline with "Rescue Skulduggery." Furthermore, if Val had to learn necromancy and fend for herself, it might add to her character. Nevertheless, I loved Skulduggery first and foremost, so I was sad. Then again, the author actually took out one of the two main characters. Most authors would be terrified of such an enormous change, but it's amazing! I definitely appreciated that.


Although I was sad, and partly because of it, this was still the best book. It made me care. The plot, simply put, was: everything that can go wrong does go wrong. It induced a wonderful kind of terror. And this book was IT. Everyone feared the evil gods would come back, and they finally did.


Also, the story finally seemed integrated with the rest of the series. The other books stood alone, and so did this one, but it also connected with the other books in ways that affected the plot. It even brought back previously less-important elements (like Billy-Ray Sanguine, the hilarious Finbar Wrong, and the mystery of Valkyrie's reflection). I didn't expect they'd be back, and I welcome their return. I prefer integrated stories to stand-alone ones because the former seem grander. That's another reason I loved this book.


I noticed something I've heard other people mention. The characters questioned whether a 14-year-old should the live the dangerous life Valkyrie does. The book gave no real answer. I’d accept that Valkyrie chooses this for herself, so Skulduggery isn’t to blame. She'd seek out trouble even without him. But if the book gave this answer, it was very brief.


Also, it asked whether sorcerers are superior to "mortals." It gave no answer there at all. Valkyrie showed distaste for the idea but didn't seem to come to a definite conclusion. I’d point out that your worth doesn't change based on what you do or what you can do. You have inherent value embedded in your soul no matter what, and that’s what makes us equal. But it doesn’t say anything like that.


Another part that bugged me. Usually, Skul and Val are somewhat careful about hurting people, but they readily and probably unnecessarily tricked Scapegrace and got him badly beat up by Cleavers. He probably deserved it, but still, really? Not classy.


I almost think I've criticized this book more than the first two, but I still say it's the best, and that should be a sign of how magnificent it is. It's easy to pick out the black spots on almost flawless white paper. Aside from those minor speckles, it only lacked a deeper emotional message, and made up for it with exquisite characters, plot, humor, and action.


9/10

Review of SP Dark Days

In Skulduggery Pleasant Dark Days by Derek Landy, Valkyrie Cain must rescue Skulduggery from the Land of the Faceless Ones (not sure what it's really called) and defeat a band of criminals trying to kill her. She keeps busy.

I expected this book to be even more exceptional than Faceless Ones, so I was probably more disappointed in it that it deserved, but I enjoyed it too.

To begin, the romance. As I said, I feared Fletcherie would make Valkyrie and Skulduggery less of a team. When Val entered the portal, though, China thought to herself that Val and Skul were meant to form this bond and everyone else must watch from the sidelines. It's true. I give bountiful credit to Landy for knowing his story so well. (Many authors don't know the first thing about their characters, and it's terribly annoying.) Landy knows Skul and Val likely will never grow apart. They're the perfect friends. That at least put my mind at peace and made me pretty much okay with Fletcherie.

Next, the plot. In this book, they got Skul back fast, which is good because he's stupendous, but it seemed too rushed, too quick to return to the same kind of plot. Save the world. The only difference was the villains weren't working for the Faceless Ones but for revenge. On the bright side, Scapegrace underwent appreciable changes (into a zombie king of sorts) and didn’t just die (he’s a likable idiot). Billy-Ray also underwent some major changes and could no longer use his powers (comfortably). Hilariously, the Revengers’ Club almost exclusively targeted Valkyrie, the fifteen-year-old girl who put them to shame. Regardless, they’re common sorcerer criminals, which is a step down from evil gods. (That was my clever reference to The Road to El Dorado. Ahem.) Aside from all that, the plot did captivate. Things went wrong. A lot. Good fun. Fun to read, not experience.

Next, Skulduggery. He was immensely lovable, but not AS. He almost seemed to resent being rescued, which seems snobbish and not like him at all. Then he almost shot Weeper (whom I actually like), seemed not to care when a friendly vampire faced danger, and seemed not to care about some poor guy who’s true name was known and abused by many. That’s not like him either. He’s supposed to be all heroic. That was my first reaction, and still is, but now I recognize another aspect of it. The author actually said he was excited to create a character who was darker than he initially seemed. I admit that's exciting. Now it doesn't disappoint me AS much that Skul acted a bit postal, because now I know that Derek knows it’s unhealthy behavior.

Furthermore, this book reveals Skulduggery let an innocent man stay in jail. I was glad to find that out, because everyone says Skul has done bad, bad things, but no one ever says WHAT. Now we know of one criminal act, but Billy-ray actually called Skul a psycho, so many more must remain.

About Valkyrie. Awesomely, she learned necromancy to rescue Skul. She even faced a Faceless One, (although, yes, it was strangely slow and stupid this time). Then, however, she lost to a powerless Billy-Ray. What's the point of her learning all these powers if she can’t even beat a powerless Billy-ray? In a way, it's realistic because, as always, Skul and Val never win easy, but still, it’s disappointing.

Though it lacked some of the oomph of the last book, Dark Days was exciting, funny (especially Finbar), and it had a gorgeous cover.

7.5/10

Review of SP Mortal Coil

With Skulduggery safely home, all is well. To Val and Skul, "well" means (1) Valkyrie has to die and hopefully come back to life in order to keep herself, hopefully, from destroying the world, and (2) Val, Skul, and all their friends must keeps the Remnants both from destroying the world and from using Valkyrie to do it, as they suppose her to be their deity and they like to possess their deity and try to kill her friends.

Skulduggery Pleasant Mortal Coil by Derek Landy

Mortal Coil didn't impress me as much as the previous books, but to be honest, if I'd read it first, I'd consider it nearly the best book in the published world.

I wished the book had included more Val and Skul together time and more Skulduggery. The former would lead to the latter, which is one reason I wanted it, but I also love scenes where Val and Skul pal around. Their friendship seemed under attack this book. Aside from spending many scenes with people who weren't Skulduggery, Val apparently fears him, perhaps rightly so. He really might kill her to save the world, which is an awful good way to ruin a friendship. Although I'd understand if he did, I hope he wouldn't. I hope she's wrong. But even if she is, it could tear them apart. The friendship seems far less perfect now, and I mourn it.

Out of nowhere, a romance popped up between Valkyrie and Caelan, the vampire from the last book. Neither of them indicated they were interested in each other in Dark Days. I knew it was possible, since they're both young and beautiful, and there's no reason for characters to be young and beautiful except to be love interests, right? It's just, no strong hints had appeared. Here, though, it was full blown forbidden love. Secondly, through the chapter Valkyrie and Caelan spend together, the dialogue sounded unnatural, even the inner dialogue. When Caelan tells her they were meant to be everything or nothing to each other. When Val thinks about how his eyes burn into her soul, or something. Real people don't talk or think like that. Do they? I guess I wouldn't know. Maybe people just change when they fall in love. But it was worse because of how like Twilight it was. Caelan might seem different from Edward because Caelan even said he's not a brooding romantic figure but a monster. Except that's basically what Edward said too. Caelan even stalked Val to protect her. (He loves the side of her she shows her family. I see a Reflection/Caelan pairing in the future, since Val is taken and the Reflection is ALWAYS the side Caelan loves. The living reflection and the walking undead. Do Skulduggery vampires have reflections? If not, then she completes him. Aww. I actually wouldn’t mind that at all. It was foreshadowed much more than the Val and Caelan relationship.)

Now, I don't hate OR love Twilight, and I'm not saying Landy meant for it to happen but the two relationships are so similar and Twilight is so famous that, if he only tried, he could easily avoid similarities. He should, too, because I felt like I was reading recycled material. I felt that way again during the sword fight that mirrored a Princess Bride scene, especially since I dislike Princess Bride to begin with. I want my reading material to be original. I can sometimes appreciate when a book references another work in just a word -- like when Skul tries "mellon" as a password -- but not in whole scenes or character relationships. Catching one imitation, I get paranoid and suspicious of the rest of the book. I wonder if it’s okay to laugh at the jokes or if someone else invented them in a story I don’t know and I should be annoyed. Nevertheless, Skulduggery has been so original so far that I’m not really worried, and though I cringed through the Caelan chapter, I almost forgot about it after the Scapegrace chapter that followed.

Scapegrace becomes more pathetic and more sympathetic with each book. In said chapter, he visited two rival funeral homes which I knew right away were Skulduggery's friendly neighborhood funeral service providers. What a sweet twist. I easily believed it would happen too. He went there asking them to preserve decomposing bodies (his own and his sidekick's, but the funeral homes didn't know that). It was hysterical! If a more questionable author had written this, I might have worried they were making fun of religion, but I don’t think Landy would do that, whether or not he believes in God. Therefore, the chapter was light-hearted Scapegrace fun.

The other best chapter introduced Valkyrie to Doctor Nye. I knew that Valkyrie had to die, but I didn’t expect her to die when she got in the coach that carried her to Doctor Nye. I thought she’d get there, they’d do some spelly thing, and everything would go dark, but no. Actually, the book vividly detailed her sensations as she died. It surprised me in a delicious way. When she arrived at her destination, Nye was creepy because apparently its eyes had been sewn shut and the ends of the thread still appeared. Valkyrie passed a dismembered head who actually blinked at her, implying it was in the same state Val was in and understood all that happened even if it didn’t care. Creepy. Then Val watched as Nye cut her open. Creepy. However, the exclamation point came at the end of the chapter when Nye decided to keep Val forever and dissect her. CREEPY. By then, Val had no way out. Skulduggery didn’t know where she was, and she didn't even have the will to escape. She has to escape, we think. She’s the main character. But there’s no way. And the thought of Valkyrie the Corpse being completely dissected and stashed away in a meat house for eternity, knowing the whole time what was happening but unable to care or fret or plan or feel? That is a chilling thought. I wouldn’t have liked it if Val COULD feel pain, but she couldn’t. The most exquisitely frightening chapter, "Nye" (as I think it's called) is also one of the best in the series.


As for the rest of the characters, Finbar and Skulduggery were hilarious as always. Ghastly and Tanith struck up a romance that, like Val and Caelan's, seemed out of nowhere (or maybe, I suppose, I'm just horrendous at catching romantic undertones). Other than that, I don’t object to it. We lost Tanith to possession. She wasn’t one of my favorites, so I don’t mind. Besides, there’s no way they won’t cure her. (If Nye can find the soul, why can’t he find the remnant and remove it?) We also lost my second favorite character, Kenspeckle. I'm not at all distraught about this, which is just plain weird. It don’t know what it is. Perhaps it's Landy’s skill in making us feel what Val feels and she didn’t feel much when it happened. Or perhaps it was the way Kenspeckle's death was presented, so suddenly and matter-of-factly. (I was like, “Is he dead? He is? Are you sure he’s not just wounded? You should probably check.”) Or perhaps it's both. It seems logical that Val would feel so little about it right now, but hopefully the next book addresses it again and she feels more strongly about it. I do not want to see a rug pulled over it. Who’s going to heal broken bones and crab at Skulduggery now?

The plot seemed drawn out, probably because, for some strange reason, I expected the characters to resolve the Remnant thing early and focus on another issue. It still entertained me though. It was exciting, action-packed, plot-twisting, all that Skulduggery jazz. (By the way, I knew a remnant would turn Val into Darquesse. I didn't say anything to anyone because I didn't want to be wrong, but I knew it!)


Fantastic but not as fantastic as the others, SP Mortal Coil receives the following rating:

7/10

The Evers

Behold this short list of animated and illustrated characters.


Worst Dad Ever:
Firelord Ozai, Avatar the Last Airbender

Sexiest Skeleton Ever:

Skulduggery Pleasant, Skulduggery Pleasant by Derek Landy

Cutest Corpse Ever:

Emily, The Corpse Bride

Most Desirable Duck Ever:

Scrooge McDuck, Ducktales

Hottest Rodent Investigator Ever:

Basil of Baker Street, The Great Mouse Detective





Deadliest Top Hat-Wearer Ever:

Hatter Madigan, The Looking Glass Wars

Hottest Statue Ever:

Goliath, Gargoyles

Most Tragic Villainous Red-headed Statue Ever:

Demona, Gargoyles

Hottest Thousand-year-old Man Ever:

Macbeth, Gargoyles

Man, it took me forever to make this and it's so short! --- Writing in a nutshell.

This is at the bottom because...